I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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