Your tits are I can't wait for
My balls are so social today.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
