sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
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I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
me + whiskey = a bad person
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
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