Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
