she was so not down for the gang bang
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
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my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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