Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
