so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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