Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Randomize
