my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
