i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I don't deserve a penis
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
