There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
