And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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