Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
