There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
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Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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