My nipple is on Facebook.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
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