how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
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