too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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