my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize