sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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