She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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