hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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