It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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