The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
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I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
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hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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