things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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