he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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