so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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