She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
God I need to hump something, right now.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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