Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
