mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
