Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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