Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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