at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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