I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Randomize
