i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
