He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
there was a trapeze. enough said
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
