so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
These tits shall not be calmed
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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