Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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