Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
