So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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