No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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