i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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