I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
