insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
