Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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