I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
