i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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