Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine

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(516): View more from New York

my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now

Fav 13 1665 2407
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(910): View more from North Carolina

i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.

Fav 23 1620 3137
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(517): View more from Michigan

In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.

Fav 4 2836 1344
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(209): View more from California

Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!

Fav 8 2585 800
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(406): View more from Montana

I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.

Fav 5 1871 797
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(706): View more from Georgia

Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.

Fav 2 265 425
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(613): View more from Ontario

I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..

Fav 0 33 39
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