Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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