i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Randomize