You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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