"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Randomize
