Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
