Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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