Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
