Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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