I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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