guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
