I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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