I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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