Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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