Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
