That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
