Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
