so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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