I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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